Miscalculation

Here’s something to file under “so crazy no one could make this up”.

Pyotr Kuznetsov is the leader of a “True Orthodox Church” in Russia. Just like any group that has to pull out their apostolic succession to prove their validity, any group that has to tell you they are the “True” whatever church are almost certainly not. The True Orthodox Church refuses to eat processed food, believes that bar codes are Satantic symbols, and is convinced the world will end soon. Very soon.

Pyotr convinced his followers that the world is going to end in May of this year. As a result they all went to live in a cave. Except, for some strange reason, Pyotr. The followers barricaded themselves in the cave and wouldn’t come out. But as one bad decision follows another, they didn’t pick a very good cave. The parts that aren’t flooding are collapsing. The authorities have been a bit concerned because some of the followers were children.

Pyotr wasn’t keen on them leaving just because a little thing like the roof falling in on them. He said God had collapsed the cave and to go against God is a great sin.

Fortunately the children have gotten out, as have most of the followers. They are now waiting for the End in Pyotr’s wooden cottage. It tooks months of negotiations to get them out. As part of the deal they have been supplied with a cow. After all, they can’t drink Satanic milk from a carton with a bar code on it.

Pytor isn’t with them. He’s in a psychiatric hospital.

He hasn’t been sent away because of his crazy ideas. Rather, he had a hard time dealing with his realisation that he miscalculated the date of the End of the World. He tried to commit suicide. Being crazy, he didn’t attempt any of the usual methods, like gunshot, hanging, overdose, jumping from a cliff, or slitting his wrists. He was much more inventive. He put his head on a tree stump and started hitting it with a log.

He didn’t hit it enough times, because he survived emergency surgery for this head wounds. Perhaps he knocked some sense into himself.